Meals, motorbikes, and mecca

Another week, another whirlwind of events. I only just started my second week of TESOL training on Monday, and guess what? Ya girl’s already got a teaching placement in Rangsit,  which is just outside of Bangkok. And I’m set to start next Monday..eek! So, let’s elaborate on that whole “whirlwind of events” thing. I’ll start with the fact that learning how to teach an entire class (using lesson plans, and competency, and panache) is a whole new ballpark for me. We all know I’m a nerd at heart, so I was ready to tackle the challenge. But, let me tell you, my first attempt at creating and executing a lesson plan did not go exactly as the nerd in me would have liked. Let’s cut to the chase: I flopped like a fish out of water when I got up in front of my peers and attempted to teach them about hospitals. So I didn’t actually flop, and it probably wasn’t as bad as it felt, but needless to say, there was room for improvement. Luckily, I got to take a stab at another lesson plan and presentation later in the week. This time I felt more like a fierce lion, queen of her jungle (classroom). So maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I definitely felt more confident, which is good considering I have to stand in front of a class of students — who are relying on my ability to teach English — in one short week.

 

Casually watching America’s future unfold on a projector screen in Thailand.

The only other noteworthy thing that happened during our 40 hours of class last week would be the rather significant event that occurred in the good old U S of A. I would be remiss if I did not address (ever so briefly) the election and what it was like to experience said election in another country. First, a major shout out to our teacher for trying to power through his lecture despite the fact that he was facing a class of 30 students whose heads were buried in their phones. We could not be bothered by TESOL theory as we continuously refreshed news sources that were feeding us the election results state by state. Finally he gave up and projected the polls on the big screen as we sat on the edges of our seats until it happened. In the wake of the unfathomable, I have had a handful of Thais bring up the election result in a sympathetic tone after they learn my country of origin. It’s fascinating to be on another continent during such a monumental mark on America and to see firsthand that the impact of this American event has a global ripple effect.

That’s more political talk than I would care to dedicate to my blog, so let’s move right on along. This next section of the blog is a shortlist of things that are much more common in Thailand than in America (if not nonexistent).

1. Meals: You know how in America, it’s kind of considered bad service (or at the very least annoying) if a table’s meals don’t all come out at the same time? And how if someone’s dish doesn’t come for another two minutes, you’re supposed to leave your plate sitting there untouched for that eternity of two minutes to be considerate even though in your head you’re daydreaming of what that pasta will taste like once it graces your tastebuds? Yeah..none of that is expected here. If two dishes come at the same time, it is an absolute marvel. Here we’ve gotten used to the first person getting their dish and the last person getting theirs 30 minutes later. That first person gingerly and guiltily eats their food knowing it will get cold if they wait. Meanwhile, that last person tries to maintain an even composure as they pray to the food gods that during the next outing they will not be the unlucky duck to eat last.
   

   Roomie and me, looking fab as per usual, outshining the waterfall

2. Motorbikes: If you don’t have a motorbike in Thailand, who even are you? Seriously, I can’t help but remember when I was overwhelmed by the amount of motorbikes in Europe. Well, we have entered an entirely new ballpark my friends (I’m realizing that’s the second time in this post I’ve used that ballpark analogy, but whatevs..call it fitting figurative language or muscle memory, but either way, just keep reading plz). There are swarms of scooters here with no regard for road rules. They weave in and out of cars and songtaews and on and off sidewalks with containers of soup or smoothies in hand. But arguably the most novel thing about the motorbikes is WHO you see on them. I’m talking families of three, with kids as young as 4 gripping the body of the bike bringing a whole new meaning to “starting them young”. Glad to know that 4-year-olds have more experience on a Vespa than I do — I’m just reaching new levels of coolness daily, aren’t I?
3. 7-11s: 7-11 is mecca. It is sacred. It is the light at the end of the tunnel. 7-11 may just be any ordinary, sub-par convenience store back in America, but here it is the lifeblood of Thais. In the mood for a late night grilled cheese, warmed up in store? Look no further than the toastie aisle in your local 7-11 (by local, I literally mean any direction you care to turn..they’re everywhere). Need to add more data to your phone plan? Go ask your friendly 7-11 worker for a top up. Literally need to book a flight to another country? Head on over to the nearest 7-11 to pay for your ticket. I’m telling you, you name it, Thai 7-11 has got it.

Sry, pictures couldn’t do it justice

I digress. I’ve also done a lot of exciting stuff on my free time outside of class like attend a ladyboy cabaret, explore the beautiful National Park that is Doi Inthanon, take a Thai cooking class, and release a lantern into the sky during the widely-celebrated Loy Krathong. All amazing, as you would expect, but I thought it was important to clue you into some cultural differences before I grace you with the good stuff.

More so than anything though, as much as I love and will miss Chiang Mai, I am hype to get to my placement city next week and get settled into my new, semi-permanent life. I can either take a 10-hour bus ride or a 1-hour flight to Bangkok for a negligible difference in price, so obvi I’m opting for the flight. Unfortunately, booking the flight has not been smooth sailing (or should I say flying LOL). I have tried at least 30 times to book my ticket through Air Asia (I promise you, this is not an exaggeration and may in fact actually be an understatement). It has been quite the headache-forming, anxiety-inducing experience, and even more unfortunately, when I went to get a massage to release my tension, my favorite place was closed. Apparently, Air Asia has some promotion going on that’s making their website highly susceptible to crashing right when I make it all the way to the “purchase” stage. But HEY, let’s look at the silver lining — I’ve officially memorized my credit card information!! A shopaholic’s dream come true! So, here’s to hoping that the 50th time’s the charm and I will eventually secure a ticket (preferably without a spike in price) to my new home.

Yours truly,

A fish out of water

Welcome to Thailand: songtaews, waterfalls, wats galore

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Sorry, that was totally unnecessary, but I started this sentence with “do you ever feel like” and couldn’t help myself from there. What I was trying to ask is if you’ve ever had one of those days where it felt like one week has been stuffed into a single day. Well, every day this week has felt like that for me. So, according to that logic, basically I’ve already been in Thailand for about seven weeks even though technically it’s really only been a week. Before I delve into the details of my action-packed week, let me give a little context as to why and how I’m in Thailand in the first place, which I realized I never touched on in my last post.

The nutshell version to explain why I decided to flee to Thailand for 5 months is that I wanted to postpone adult life. However, this week during orientation, we were urged to dig a little deeper. If I’m being honest, since coming back from Spain I had been in a bit of a funk. It was hard for me to get back into a routine where it felt like something was missing. And I guess that “something” would be a sense of adventure and discovery. How could I be content knowing there is so much more beauty and culture and people existing outside of my own little bubble? So here I am in Thailand with a program led by Greenheart Travel. I’ll be teaching Thai students English, but I won’t be finding out what age group or what town I’ll be teaching in for another two weeks or so. Currently, I’m in Chiang Mai completing my orientation and TESOL certification course. This week has been the awesome orientation week during which we got a crash course in Thai culture and language and did a handful of fun excursions. This coming Monday, my TESOL course begins. Unfortunately, I haven’t escaped homework like I thought I had. This is karma for boasting to friends who are still in school about being homework-free. Now that the silly nitty gritty explanation is out of the way, let’s get to the fun part: MY THAI ADVENTURES!!! Because I basically have to fit seven weeks into one post, I’ll try to stick to highlights.

Sunday: After arriving to my hotel where I will be staying for the next month with my awesome roommate, Tavish (shout out to my program for pairing me with that gem), it was midnight and the exhaustion was REAL. I could not wait to “sleep in” despite the fact that my bed is comparable to a stretcher with a blanket. Thanks to the jet lag, I was up by 8:30 and ready to face the day. Tavish and I ventured to Huay Kaew Waterfall, which we had learned about after creeping on a former Greenheart traveler’s instagram. I broke in my chacos, hiked up a hill, and sat on a rock nestled in the water (and naturally had a slippery little wipeout on said rock. Frankly I wouldn’t blame you for being surprised if I didn’t fall.) Later that night, we found a little restaurant with a few other people from our program and the experience can best be described as edible warfare. Our waitress dumped two huge buckets of spicy seafood onto a paper-lined table as we slipped on some plastic gloves and bibs. What followed was primal savagery and fiery deliciousness.

Monday: This was the first official day of orientation, and the day started with three bright red songtaews rolling up to our digs at 8 am. Thai lesson number one of this post: songtaews give me life. The bright red trucks are something akin to Uber Pool or Lyft Line, but significantly cheaper and more culturally diverse in that you sit in the Thai version of a non-enclosed pick up truck type dealio. Pictures below because as per usual my descriptive skills are slacking. You tell the driver where you want to go, and for about a 15 minute drive, you may pay as little as 20 baht (literally 60 cents..wow have I mentioned how much I love the cost of living here?!?!?) After our exhilarating songtaew ride to Chiang Mai University, we had a day chock full of Thai language class, a field trip to probably the fanciest mall I’ve ever been to, a pad thai and thai iced tea lunch for $2.85 (amazing I know, it’ll never stop being novel), and lessons on Thai politics and culture. Thai lesson number two of this post: sabai sabai and mai bpen rai are my new fav concepts in Thailand. Both roughly translate to no pasa nada or hakuna matata or no worries kind of thing. The phrases are reminders for me to accept and adopt a new problem-free philosophy, and I love it.

Off the beaten path

She’s beauty and she’s grace

Tuesday: This has probably been the most eventful and culturally immersive day. After some time in the classroom, we hit the songtaews (about 10 people per one red beauty) and headed to a rice paddy to plant some precious rice. Srsly, rice is a staple of Thai life, so we were doing some unsung hero ish by wading through mud laced with what had to have been poop to help expand the (already vast) stockpiles of Thailand’s rice reserves. Next, we headed to a muay thai gym and spent an hour doing an intensive crash course of the martial art. Oh my goodness, it was such an awesome adrenaline rush and an amazing workout! Needless to say, we were all smelling pretty ripe from a pleasant mix of poopy mud and muay thai sweat on that songtaew ride home. After getting back to the hotel (and a nice long shower of course), Tavish and I decided it would be a good idea to get a Thai massage to help soothe the muscles that muay thai had wreaked havoc on. What is to follow deserves its own separate bullet point.

• An in-depth description of my first Thai massage: The woman brought us up to a room that had tiny little padded gym mats, handed me what I can only describe as scrubs, and closed the curtain. I awkwardly fumbled as I changed into my nursing outfit, laid face up on my flimsily padded mat, and silently stared at the ceiling wondering if the lady would ever return. Once she finally came back, she spread my legs real wide. After the tiny Thai woman crawled between my legs, I had an internal struggle trying to decide if I was supposed to keep my eyes open or closed, and after an awkward eye-contact exchange, I finally decided closing them would reduce any more awkwardness. I know this internal struggle is probably only something I would go through as most sane people would know to close their eyes from the get go, but hey it was a new experience and I was already confused, so give me a break plz. Next, the woman proceeded to give me an intense Thai full body massage. Now let’s dig a little deeper here. By intense, I mean this tiny little woman was absolutely obliterating the knots in my muscles, and when I say full body I mean she definitely did not shy away from the gluteus maximus muscles, and at two separate points was doing downward dog with her hands planted dangerously, dangerously high on my inner thighs. This massage was like nothing I had ever experienced. At some points she was pounding my body like I was some hunk of dough that needed to be kneaded (LOL I’m so Punny) or some whack a mole game (choose your analogy..like choose your adventure, but more fun), and at one point she was literally karate chopping my forehead. There was a moment where I felt like the grudge because she was massaging my head with no regard to where my hair fell, and there was a period during which I learned my limits of flexibility could really be tested after she pushed my hands to my toes and then proceeded to sit on my back. I lost all track of time, but I want to say it lasted about an hour and 15 minutes, and it cost 300 baht which is equivalent to about $8.50. I walked away probably even more confused than I had been at the beginning, but also with what seemed like a bit less tension, which I guess is the whole point. Let’s just say I’m not totally sure how effective the experience was because the next day I was moving like I was just learning to walk due to some serious soreness. Obviously I’m going to have to have more Thai massages to compare because I hear every place does it differently, so stay tuned on that front. (Scroll down to Saturday for an update.)

Nifty little doodads

Wednesday: On this day we went to Wat Umong, which is a temple where a Buddhist monk taught us how to meditate. After more Thai language class, another girl from my program and I went on a little adventure to Chiang Mai Ram, the local hospital, to get our typhoid shots. Would it have been easier to bite the bullet and have gotten the vaccine in America before I left? For sure. But getting the shot for $80 less in Thailand certainly made my wallet happy. Also, what a weird and awesome way to further discover Thai culture. The hospital can best be described as a fancy-looking DMV. It was not only comparable to the DMV in appearance, but in wait time as well. First we registered, then a nurse checked our vitals, then we had a consultation with the doctor, then we paid for the shot, then we finally got the shot. There was a lot of waiting between each step and the whole process took about an hour and a half, but yay for avoiding that nasty little bugger known as typhoid!!!

Thursday: In Europe, the mantra was “another day, another cathedral”. In Thailand, it’s been modified to “another day, another temple”. We took the songtaews up a long, winding road to Doi Suthep, where a mountain-top temple stands. The experience was amazing, and I received another blessed bracelet from a monk, upping my collection to two. I also shook some sticks to get my fortune, which basically said I’ll be successful, holla. Don’t worry, I’m including a supplemental picture for those of you experiencing some confusion after that sentence. Thursday was also the day I did my first batch of laundry. I use the term “I” very loosely here, though. I brought a big bag of dirty clothes to a little old Thai woman across the street at 8 am and came back at 5 pm to a clean batch of clothes perfectly ironed and folded. This whole laundry system is super clutch for me as I not only hate doing my laundry, but I’ve actually been known to ruin some clothes during my laundry attempts. She charged me only 100 baht for a week’s worth of clothes and also told Tavish and me that we have pretty faces and look like movie stars, so obvi I will be going back.

Rattling some sticks

The aforementioned fortune

Friday: As a way to say thank you for getting through the week (even though this week was the easy part), our program directors took us out to dinner at an awesome little restaurant with a very pleasing atmosphere. Afterwards, a bunch of us went out to a bar for some drinks and were looking forward to our first day off.

Saturday: Almost everyone in our program decided to do a little day trip together to Bua Tong, which is known as “sticky waterfalls”. Basically, there’s something funky about the rocks that keep them from getting slippery, allowing you to actually climb up the waterfalls. It was pretty nifty if I do say so myself. After getting back from the waterfall, Tavish and I decided to try our luck with another Thai massage. Wow, just wow. This one was not only amazing, but also half the price!! I experienced one of the best massages of my life for about $3..cannot complain. Basically the type of massaging maneuvers were the same, but the technique was totally different than the other woman’s attempt at muscle warfare. Saturday night, we all ventured into Old City to take on a few more bars, and naturally I found some people to converse with in Spanish, so that was cool. It was a long night full of great fun and great friends, and led to a noon wake up the next day. No judgment please — after the week I had it was wholly deserved.

Sunday night market

Sunday: I’m finally going to finish up the week and the post, as I’m getting tired of typing and I’m sure you’re getting tired of reading. The highlight of the day today was popping over to the Sunday night market, which is the most hoppin’ market Chiang Mai has to offer. It was so crowded, but I absolutely loved it. You could find anything your little heart desired, from elephant pants to foot massages to edible crickets (yes, I definitely tried the salty little critter and it actually wasn’t awful—it’s all about getting out of that comfort zone, people). We also got to experience a candle-lit processional during which every single person in attendance at the market stood still and went completely silent for about a minute as we held candles and paid respect to the recently passed king. It was truly chill-inducing getting to be part of that.

WOWOWOW what a week! I’m finally done, but I would like to remind you that even though you probably feel like you just read a novel (and I feel as if I just typed one), I only scratched the surface of my first week here. To sum up, I am loving it so far and cannot wait to go live new experiences that I’ll get to share with you, yeee! Now go take a nap or watch some TV or have a snack as a reward for making it through this post.

Sawad dee ka,

Your favorite insect-eating blogger

I’m coming for ya, Thailand..(after packing and 24 hours of travel)

With my move to Thailand comes some exciting news (as if me living in Thailand for 5 months isn’t already exciting enough). Drum roll please….the travel blogging is back in action! As you may remember from my Spanish blog posts, each post got a little more exciting as I became more settled and began traveling more, so bear with me as I tackle Thailand! This post will serve to explain the less glamorous side of travel: my packing process and the flight itself (in this case, a 14.5 hour flight to Shanghai, followed by a 5 hour layover in Shanghai, followed by a 4 hour flight to Chiang Mai, Thailand.) When all is said and done, we’re talking about 24 hours of travel (without factoring in the 12 hour time difference)….can I get an emphatic WOOF please?

So let’s backtrack and talk about that devilish little chore that we all love to hate. I guess some people also call it “packing”. For someone whose wardrobe is [probably] bigger than it should be and is prone to overpacking, packing is kind of my nemesis. Side note: I’d like to address my friends who have been accusing me of being a shopaholic for years. Please give me credit where credit is due for admitting I have a lot of clothes…I guess it was me that broke a closet rod once with the weight of my clothes. As for overpacking, I don’t want to get into the details due to PTSD, but let’s just say when I lived with my parents for the month of September, my ridiculous amount of unnecessary heavy luggage caused major anxiety, soreness, and a nice (thick) sheen of sweat.

Look at that efficient packing

Now that I’ve given some context for my sordid relationship with packing, you can see why the idea of packing for 5 months wasn’t exactly giving me a warm, fuzzy feeling. At this point you probably would like to point out that I’ve done this once before when I studied in Spain for 5 months, so I should know the drill. I have two rebuttals: Thailand is a totally different country that demands different clothing and items. Second, I honestly do not remember the packing process from Spain. Truly, the only memory I have is trying to further narrow down which shoes would make the cut from 11 pairs to 7 pairs. With that being said, I’m actually proud of myself this time around. Though the process began with a huge explosion of stuff all over the floor, a few bags, a couple panic attacks, and a blank stare at the wall as I racked my brain for where even to begin, the process ended with one large suitcase (with 3.3 pounds to spare!!) full of ziplock bags of stuff, which I like to refer to as organization at its finest, one carry-on travel backpack, and one personal item in the form of a laptop bag. At the end of the day, as long as I have my passport and other important documents, lotion (Thailand adds whitening agents to theirs), a bottle of Clear Care contact cleaner (no need to delve into another rant about my contact lens issues), and a handful of shoes and clothes, I will survive. I hope you read that “I will survive part” as Gloria Gaynor would have wanted you to. Now watch me need nothing of what I packed and need everything I didn’t pack. But, spoiler alert: Thailand actually does sell clothes and shoes and soap and all that jazz. So, sing it with me now, “I WILL SURVIVE!”

So, now that the devilish chore also known as packing also known as my nemesis was out of the way, all that was left to do was actually GO to Thailand, wheeee! I started typing this post during the 15 hour flight, so it’s like you get to be on this adventure (read:  entrapment in a pressurized steel tube) with me! Surprisingly, checking in and going through security and getting on the plane was actually pretty run of the mill. I know you’re probably disappointed that I don’t have any weird stories that only happen to me, but don’t worry, there’s plenty of time for that.

Initial observations: United, you are slacking!! I must say, every other international flight I have boarded has impressed me with their amenities. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same this time around. For example, where is my personal back of seat screen with the accompanied plethora of entertainment options including but not limited to recent movies and current music?? Also, I’ve always been on international airlines that serve pretty good meals featuring their country’s food. This time around, it was chicken and rice with some sort of quinoa mix and four random leaves of spinach for lunch, a prepackaged ham and cheese sandwich (that was exactly 129 calories, not one calorie more, not one calorie less) for dinner, and eggs and potatoes for breakfast. Lastly, United’s “personal device entertainment” feature that allows you to watch movies on your laptop isn’t even working..what is this malarkey?! BUT, I can’t complain too much because I’m in the window seat, and there’s a guy in the aisle seat, but the seat between us is empty!! Thank you travel gods!

Yes, that is complimentary wine on the right

129 calories and don’t forget

Breakfast at 12 am CST

Unfortunately, this guy must have an iron bladder or something because we are now on hour 7.5 and he still has not left his seat!!! What even?! I already did the awkward dance to get around him once (no, he did not make it easy for me and opted to remain seated as I climbed over him), so I’m really not tryna do that again. My bladder is not faring so well and is begging for a lavatory again, but I’m hoping, wishing, waiting that Mr. Iron Bladder will get up sometime soon and I will quickly follow his lead. I mean, he has to right?? Update: I had to do the awkward dance again..but honestly at this point it’s become a source of entertainment watching how long this guy can go without getting up. What a great way to pass the time in the absence of wifi and “personal entertainment”. Update: 9.5 hours later, he finally got up to use the lavatory.

Huay Kaew Waterfall stealin the spotlight

So let’s just say my layover in Shanghai was slightly high stress. After the two hour process of going through customs upon arrival, re-checking my bag, going through customs again for my next departure, making it through security, and all of the heinous lines that went along with all of it, I have some time to kill. Unfortunately I’m in wifi purgatory..the dreaded ~in between~ for which your device claims you’re connected but the page keeps “loading” and never fully loads, so for all intents and purposes, I’m still disconnected. But I don’t even cur because in 5 short hours (after this day, 5 hours is a blink of an eye—what does this phrase even mean? Wouldn’t that just be a wink?), I’ll be stepping foot in Chiang Mai!!! But naturally, I spilled some melted butter on my shirt during my flight, so can’t wait to meet all these new people looking like a slob (though I must admit, the butter stains are not the only factor — you try traveling for 24 hours and coming out of it looking like a supermodel). WELL, I finally made it to Thailand, and I can’t wait to start exploring! So far I can tell you that it is nice and hot, green tea Kit Kats are the bomb, Chiang Mai has a gorgeous waterfall, and it’s BYOTP here (bring your own toilet paper..for real, every man for himself). Stay tuned for updates on my Thai adventure!

Yours truly,

The 24-hour traveling supermodel